![I heard recently that the two most important needs for a human are to be fully and wholly loved and to be fully and wholly known. Having lost a child, there are things that I feel that not everyone can understand and leaves a lot to be desired on the fully and wholly known side of the equation.
On the eve of Mother’s Day and with Father’s Day on the horizon, it is important to point out that these holidays are not all the Hallmark commercials make them out to be. There are people who feel a hurt similar to ours in that they have children that they cannot hold, hug or see. On the flip side, there are children (of all ages) who can only imagine what their parents would be like or are trying to navigate the new normal without one or both. And a group that knows the hurt of missing both [parent(s) and child(ren)].
As these holidays creep up, say a prayer for the people that fall into any of the categories. Remember how blessed you are if you have both your children and your parents. Call or text someone you know who may be struggling with the holidays to remind them of the fact that they are known and loved by the people in their circle.
We know that only God can fully know and love us, but we also know that we are His hands and feet. The physical manifestation of a God that we cannot see.
To anyone that fits into any of these categories: I love you and pray you are able to find joy in a time you may very well dread.
To the people that have sent extremely thoughtful cards, flowers, gifts and messages: thank you for making this season more manageable. You are simply the best.
Counting it all Joie,
Ryce](https://i0.wp.com/www.rycespieces.com/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed/img/placeholder.png?w=1100&ssl=1)
Whew! Another year in the books! And all during a global pandemic. I alluded to these points through lyrics on my instagram, but the real deal is right here. Check out the things that I’ve learned this go round.
Situation:
Thanks to COVID, we spent more time alone with ourselves and had to really sit in who we are. Good or bad, we all had to face who we (and our families) were at the root and determine whether we needed to make changes. I’ve always valued journaling and keeping a log of memories. I guess that would explain why I blog… kinda. So as I share this year’s findings, I think they are a little more thought out because I had a lot of time to think.
Observation:
1. Know Your Why
I have a blog, right? Well, duh. You’re reading it. But how many posts have you seen me publish? Not any in 2021, that’s for sure. You can call it a lot of things, but what it boils down to is not knowing why I was doing it. Yeah, I want to showcase the things I create, the recipes I’ve developed, the success stories of others, glimpses (key word glimpses) of my life and make a little change on the side. The thing is that when you do something without a WHY, it can become tedious real quick and if it’s not strong enough, you’ll abandon it. Straight like that.
So, I had to have a conversation with myself about the things I do and really pinpoint why I was doing each of them. Then really determine if it’s something I wanted to keep doing. That was for everything: blog, career, relationships, social media, Orange Theory, my diet, services I pay for. I hope that you do the same. After you let some things go, the ones you keep have more value.
2. Your Journey is YOUR Journey
This runs into the next point. What you experience, by choice or otherwise, is yours. No one can dictate to you how to do you. Don’t ever apologize for the executive decisions you make for you and yours. That’s it. That’s the message. Do with it what you will.
3. Give Yourself Grace
Ok. As you’re journeying and figuring out what and who gets to go with you, you’ll decide to take on new responsibilities or roles. Or maybe you’ll take my advice from last year and just try something new. Just know that there are growing pains along the way. As you make edits to your life, you’ll find that you’re expanding or minimizing your capacity to make space for what you value. In the process, guilt, shame and all they ugly homeboys come and try to convince you that you’re not doing enough or you’re doing too much. Try as best you can to give you the same grace you would extend to a friend in your same situation. You deserve it.
4. Cherish the People Around You
I had a classmate who’s mom that said “Get with who gon’ get with you.” Essentially telling us that we should focus on the people that care mutually about the relationship you have. I realized that when all of the distractions are taken away, you have you and the people closest to you. I found that me and my tribe got so much closer during this pandemic. We’ve had meaningful conversations, expressed ourselves openly and we even celebrated each other more. The take home point is: life is too short to have Roody Poo people in your space when you can spend more time sewing into the people that will ride for you.
5. Rest is a Right, Not a Luxury
One of the biggest things I learned during this lap, is that rest is absolutely necessary. There are days when there is absolutely nothing on the agenda. Do you know what happens after that? I am ready to take on the next task and it’s usually more productive. I’m not sure where the obsession with busy came from, but let me tell you: REST is where it’s at. Let’s agree to work smarter and not harder.
Another Thing:
When I tell you that I have the realest people around me, I mean it. I don’t think it’s an accident either. I think that God said, “These are the humans that will make you better and will make life amazing.” I have had the absolute best birthday ever thanks to those very people. They started calling and texting at midnight and they surprised me with an early party because they knew I had to work today. That made my heart full. But to top it off, my awesome husband made today special by creating a VEGAN (this is another new thing in my life) breakfast cafe in our dining room.
So as I write, I’m drinking a mimosa and reflecting with a grateful spirit because of the beauty and love I get to experience every day because of my inner circle. When I talk about cherishing the people around me, know that they cherish me too.
Piece of Ryce:
This was a year like no other. I spent the first half of this revolution working in a hospital through a pandemic, trying and creating new vegan recipes, producing all levels of extra to make my home what I want it to be and just simply basking in being me. The second half taught me that it’s ok to reset, refocus and reflect. I’ve set new goals and look forward to sharing the outcome. This next year will be the result of the commitment I have. As a wise Gemini once said, “A dream’s only a dream if work don’t follow it.”
God has truly blessed me this year and I am looking forward to the beauty and the blessings to come in the next one.
![I heard recently that the two most important needs for a human are to be fully and wholly loved and to be fully and wholly known. Having lost a child, there are things that I feel that not everyone can understand and leaves a lot to be desired on the fully and wholly known side of the equation.
On the eve of Mother’s Day and with Father’s Day on the horizon, it is important to point out that these holidays are not all the Hallmark commercials make them out to be. There are people who feel a hurt similar to ours in that they have children that they cannot hold, hug or see. On the flip side, there are children (of all ages) who can only imagine what their parents would be like or are trying to navigate the new normal without one or both. And a group that knows the hurt of missing both [parent(s) and child(ren)].
As these holidays creep up, say a prayer for the people that fall into any of the categories. Remember how blessed you are if you have both your children and your parents. Call or text someone you know who may be struggling with the holidays to remind them of the fact that they are known and loved by the people in their circle.
We know that only God can fully know and love us, but we also know that we are His hands and feet. The physical manifestation of a God that we cannot see.
To anyone that fits into any of these categories: I love you and pray you are able to find joy in a time you may very well dread.
To the people that have sent extremely thoughtful cards, flowers, gifts and messages: thank you for making this season more manageable. You are simply the best.
Counting it all Joie,
Ryce](https://www.rycespieces.com/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed/img/placeholder.png)
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